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Looking for God

God is everywhere. I never hear her, but sometimes it’s like she has reached down and pointed at something – gone ‘ta daa!’ or ‘just look at this’, or ‘I love you’. God is in everything. In the person who I struggle to get on with, the one who is annoying, who grates against me. This is when I have to remember to look, hard, at the other, and see past myself. For they are astonishingly beautiful. God is in the fields, in the country I am blessed to inhabit and am learning to live in, to find myself in. Muddy shoes and red kites, sheep in the distance, the blades of grass, a lone leaf, the songs of unseen birds trilling across the sky. The sky! Like nowhere else; it takes my breath and draws it out in wonder at the unfolding tapestry of deep hued spectacle. It is so simple – clouds, end-of-day sunlight, the movements of planets – yet every day different, indescribably haunting in perfection. The sky takes my breath, holds it, blesses it, and returns it again. God is in the wonderment of the senses. To see, to hear, to touch and smell. To taste. Good food is assuredly of the divine.


I find God to reside in music. In the melodies of aching sadness which draw the tears unbidden, the painful and peaceful cascade of notes which so easily communicate unspoken to the very secret depths of me, that little else can draw out or come to know; and in the riotous, infectious delight that lifts the soul and dances with it, soars away and laughs, restores, embraces. God is in the music of my heart. God is in the pain as well. In the unanswerable questions, in the hurt no one can mend, in the brokenness of raw humanity as we stumble around our lives. God is in our response. Our small attempts to care and forgive. But God, I have found, is most clear in those around me, in the ones who humble me with genuine kindness and grace. Those who don’t just think, but act, whose integrity and bold stance inspires my own small courage. God is pouring out of the person who prays next to me, whose faith radiates through the giving of their all, their whole. I see God in the eyes of you, and I wish that I loved God more.

Sometimes I even dare to hope that God resides in me, too. My failings are many and constant, my faith and devotion are small, but still I cling to the possible fact that I might help another to see God. For I see God, everywhere. At times more, sometimes less. Sometimes the fog of life clouds what is clear, but what is there cannot be removed. I just have to remember to look. For God is in the unfettered joy of simply being alive. God is to live, to love, to be.



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